Keep On Keepin' On

So, this week we got TWO unemployment checks. The state is really trying to get caught up with Jay since his delay back in May/June. We got one check on Tuesday, immediately mailed back the continued claim form on the same day and rushed it to the Post Office before the pick up for the day, and got another check today (Friday). Pretty cool.

We are poised to pay August's rent on time... I think. We might be about $100 short, but that's a lot better than it has been. I am all caught up on all the credit cards except our Macy's charge, but I'm not too far behind on that one. I've paid a few lingering bills like DISH Network and an old doctor bill from forever ago. I made payment arrangements with another old bill and we closed Jay's credit card and went on a payment plan which reduced our interest rate from 30% to 6% and set our payments at $45.00 a month.

The only thing that is concerning me right now is that we no longer qualify for Food Stamps because I started working full-time, so that will be a change in our finances over the next little bit. Usually, we would get another month's worth of "stamps" (which is silly to say, because it's on a debit card anyway) on the 10th, but July was our last month so we will have to come up with grocery money on our own from here on out. I will be getting more WIC vouchers on the 30th, though. In a few more months, the WIC program will begin covering bread, fruit, and veggies, too, which is awesome.

I thought of something the other day... we are going to have TWO children in diapers at the same time for a while. That could get quite expensive! Hopefully, Jay will be back to work by then!

On that note, Jay applied and interviewed for a job at Magnussen's Auburn Dodge last week. He is still waiting to hear back. The Service Manager at Dodge was his Service Manager at Toyota, so he has his foot in the door already. I'm hoping and praying that it pans out, because it is definitely time for our income to stabilize.

The kids start swimming lessons next week, and Jacob finishes up T-Ball next Wednesday. He really enjoys T-Ball; I can't wait until he's old enough to actually be on a regular team! That starts when he's in Kindergarten.

I was listening to old messages on my cell phone voicemail today... I have a message from Jacob when he was probably about 1 1/2 making babyish noises and saying "Hi" over and over again and I also have a message from when Julianna was about 5 months old the first time she ever really laughed. I remember calling my cell phone so that I could record it. Annie was making faces at her or something and she was laughing. It's the sweetest sound. I love listening to those old messages... I'll have to find some way to save them if I ever change my cell phone service. I don't really expect to do that, though; I've been with Verizon forever.

I am feeling more positive tonight. I can't tell you how nice it feels to be almost caught up on our bills. We're so close I can taste it!! I just pray there isn't another long delay when Jay applies for his unemployment extension in the next couple weeks.

Our poor car (the Camry) has been sorely neglected while we've been hard-up for cash and now we have to replace the brake pads, the rotors, and one piston because we drove it way beyond the time we needed to change the brakes. Thankfully, we have the money to do it because of Jay's connections. A buddy of his is doing the work in exchange for a detail on his wife's car and he's getting the parts with his employee discount at Folsom Lake Toyota and we're just paying him back. The car also needs an oil change and a new windshield, which we will work on soon. The oil change is more urgent and easier to do ourselves, so hopefully it won't be much longer.

I should be in bed. I will write again someday. :)

Dani

How time flies

I have found that updating this blog takes up precious time of which I have very little, so I apologize for going so long between posts.

Every day, I tell myself to keep my chin up and look on the bright side and that one day this will all be behind us. I know that sometimes the economy sucks and then eventually it doesn't anymore. I know this, but it's so hard in the moment... Jay is still looking for work. We thought we may have caught a break when a Service Writer up in Auburn gave his notice, but now we're hearing that they may not bother replacing him. Jay should have gotten an unemployment check today, but apparently we forgot to have Jay sign his continued claim form last week, so they sent him another form to sign before they can mail a check. Now, if things go smoothly, he won't receive his check until Tuesday, most likely. We are overdrawn in our bank account and have a lot of people asking us to make payments for one thing or the other, and I have made payment promises that I now cannot honor. Thankfully, I was able to make arrangements so our car won't be repossessed, as was a possibility.

I found a program through the city which will allow the kids to take swimming lessons this summer free-of-charge, so that was a blessing. I really didn't want to skip a summer, because I believe that swimming lessons can literally save lives and I always sign my kids up. This year, because we qualified for the free lessons, I am even going to do a "Mommy and Me" lesson with Julianna, which will supposedly teach her to pull herself out of the pool on the side. That could definitely be beneficial in a worst-case-scenario! So, I feel good about that.

I just go through such a roller coaster of emotions all the time. Jay is about to run out of his unemployment benefits, so we are coming up on his first federal extension. That is all well and good, but I've been told that you usually go three to four weeks without a check while they evaluate your application for an extension. Also, although I know the government is acutely aware at how badly people need the unemployment system right now, I always have it in the back of my mind that California is ultra-broke. Are they someday going to just say, "Sorry, we're out of money" and stop sending checks all together? Who knows? I don't trust any of the politicians anymore. Everything is a mess.

I find myself in a rotten mood because I'm so worried about everything, and that's not fair to my family. I am not enjoying it, either. I am experiencing a lot of headaches and hip pain at this stage of my pregnancy, also, which makes life that much more painful, physically.

I just really want to get to the other side of this mountain. I want to look back and say, "Oh, Jay, remember how impossible it was in 2009?? How did we ever get through that? I'm so glad things are better now!"

I'm scared and worried and confused and angry and disappointed. And what makes it worse is that it's all because of MONEY. STUPID MONEY! I hate that money can affect our lives so much. My children are healthy, my husband and I and all the people I love are healthy. I have a full-time job, which millions of people would love to have. I have a home. Our rent payments are late, but I have a home regardless. I am pregnant with another precious child, which is such a blessing!! I constantly remind myself of the good in my life, and yet I still end up feeling sorry for myself. I guess that's awful. Now I feel guilty for feeling upset. Sigh.

I hope all of you are doing well. I'm sorry this post has been such a pity party, but it's how I'm feeling right now. Hopefully, next time I will be in a better frame of mind.