So, what's up with the Joosts these days?

WELL... let's see.

Jay is still out of work and attending Sierra College. He is greatly enjoying his classes this semester, as they are all in his major, which is Applied Art & Design. He only has math left in his general education requirements, so he's enjoying focusing on the stuff he's really there for. Our intention was that he absolutely needs to go back to work by January, so with the end of the year drawing near, he is going to have to really re-double his efforts to find work. Once he does, he will have to cut back on school, but he will continue and achieve his goals in however much time it takes! He is receiving a Pell Grant, which is a Godsend, for sure, and has allowed us some more comfort in the finances.

I am still working for JP Morgan Chase, but have transferred to the Lincoln branch, which is quite a bit closer to home. We are undergoing a remodel, which is nearly done now, and it has been quite hectic. We are also a month away from the official conversion from Washington Mutual to Chase, and I can definitely say I look forward to having all this behind us. It's just obnoxious in so many ways to deal with the Chase-but-not-quite-Chase thing, as we are still using the WaMu computer system, policies, and products, but are at the same time trying to learn all the Chase stuff and slowly re-train our customers, as well. Other than work, I am still pregnant, of course. :) I have my cesarean date set for November 20 at 9:30am. We did not find out the gender, although I still have my personal feeling that this is a boy. I am getting bigger and heavier, and look forward to having THIS behind me, too! lol But, of course, I enjoy pregnancy for the positive points. I am at a point now where I know this COULD be my last pregnancy. I don't think it will be, but Jay and I are going to take our time on having another baby, and I don't know what the future holds. Regardless, I am trying to remember to cherish every little kick and punch from within, because it truly is an amazing experience, and I know I will yearn for it some day when we have decided we have enough little mouths to feed. God willing, we will somehow become financially set and can just keep having kids! But, honestly, I don't see us going beyond five children. I got my flu shot today, and am anxiously awaiting the release of the H1N1 virus vaccination, so I can get that one, too.

Annie turned eleven on Sept. 2 and started sixth grade in late August. She is now a Middle Schooler! She seems to enjoy it, and is doing very well. She is playing my old clarinet in band, which is kind of neat. I am glad she has that opportunity now; they didn't have band in Elementary School. She is in advanced classes, and I am excited by how well she is doing. She was sick a week and a half ago, and went to the doctor to be tested for H1N1, but the result was negative. It was good that she was tested, though, because she did have the symptoms. As it turned out, a girl she plays with regularly tested positive for H1N1 around the same time! Annie is frustrated with me, because I won't allow her to play with that little girl yet, even though she has been cleared to go back to school. I want to wait and make sure no one else in her household comes down with it, though, because it is way too risky if it makes it into our household while I'm pregnant. NOT a risk I'm willing to take! When I explained it very bluntly to Annie, she seemed to get over her annoyance. She got her flu shot today, also.

Jacob is going through another bout with poor listening, but this is nothing new. I have started keeping track of how many times I've told him to do something and telling him, "This is the third time I've told you to ______" and it seems to help. It makes him aware of the fact that he's ignoring my requests/directives. He usually responds with a quick, "Oh, sorry, okay" and does what he's been told. He is struggling with being respectful of Julianna's individuality and human-ness. He tends to want to treat her like a non-person, snatching whatever she is holding and pushing her around. She was laying on her tummy on the floor tonight playing with his Leapster and he laid down next to her to see what she was doing and she immediately grabbed the Leapster and held it away from him while yelling, "No! No! No!" and pushind him away. I made a point to explain to him that she did that because she has gotten so used to him taking whatever she has from her for no reason. I think it made an impact... I hope. We're working on it. He got his flu shot today, as well. He struggled when he saw the needle, but quickly calmed down when he realized it really didn't hurt that much.

Julianna is growing and changing as fast as I can type. Her vocabulary is still pretty slim for her age, but she communicates very well. She is eager to talk more fluently and is always trying new words. She teases and grins and runs faster than I can in my condition! She is a Daddy's Girl for sure, which started when I started working full time. It's a little sad for me, but she still loves her Mommy. It's just different with Jay. He's the one who can always make her laugh. She barely made a sound when she got her flu shot today. :)

Baby has been named. He will be Jonah Isaac Joost OR she will be Abigail Loretta Joost. He/She is in excellent health and growing as he/she should be. As far as we can tell, everything is perfect. :)

Jay's mother had a heart attack resulting in kidney failure in the beginning of August. It was a VERY scary time and we almost lost her, but she is doing relatively well now. She was in Cardiac ICU for 5 days and in the hospital for a total of 12 days. She lost vision in her right eye as a result of the heart attack and is not expected to regain it. She is still walking with the aid of a walker. She has been released to return to work no more than 16-20 hours a week and can receive disability income at the same time, so that is good.

Our finances are going to take another hit while I'm on Maternity Leave. I am honestly not sure what we are going to do, but we are brainstorming. Christmas will definitely be modest, which kills Jay. He always wants a big Christmas, but... this year we get a baby instead! lol

We have been looking at double strollers. I think I want the Graco DuoGlider, but we need to buy a new infant car seat to go with it, which will bring the total to about $200. We don't need it immediately, obviously, but I hope we can get it soonish. It has a huge basket underneath, which we love, and we need another baby car seat anyway, so I don't mind having to get one to go with it. The company that makes the car seat we have now does not make a double stroller. :(

I am going to call it a night! I have work earlier than usual tomorrow and am TIRED. I hope you've enjoyed this little update! Thanks for reading! ;)

Dani

Keep On Keepin' On

So, this week we got TWO unemployment checks. The state is really trying to get caught up with Jay since his delay back in May/June. We got one check on Tuesday, immediately mailed back the continued claim form on the same day and rushed it to the Post Office before the pick up for the day, and got another check today (Friday). Pretty cool.

We are poised to pay August's rent on time... I think. We might be about $100 short, but that's a lot better than it has been. I am all caught up on all the credit cards except our Macy's charge, but I'm not too far behind on that one. I've paid a few lingering bills like DISH Network and an old doctor bill from forever ago. I made payment arrangements with another old bill and we closed Jay's credit card and went on a payment plan which reduced our interest rate from 30% to 6% and set our payments at $45.00 a month.

The only thing that is concerning me right now is that we no longer qualify for Food Stamps because I started working full-time, so that will be a change in our finances over the next little bit. Usually, we would get another month's worth of "stamps" (which is silly to say, because it's on a debit card anyway) on the 10th, but July was our last month so we will have to come up with grocery money on our own from here on out. I will be getting more WIC vouchers on the 30th, though. In a few more months, the WIC program will begin covering bread, fruit, and veggies, too, which is awesome.

I thought of something the other day... we are going to have TWO children in diapers at the same time for a while. That could get quite expensive! Hopefully, Jay will be back to work by then!

On that note, Jay applied and interviewed for a job at Magnussen's Auburn Dodge last week. He is still waiting to hear back. The Service Manager at Dodge was his Service Manager at Toyota, so he has his foot in the door already. I'm hoping and praying that it pans out, because it is definitely time for our income to stabilize.

The kids start swimming lessons next week, and Jacob finishes up T-Ball next Wednesday. He really enjoys T-Ball; I can't wait until he's old enough to actually be on a regular team! That starts when he's in Kindergarten.

I was listening to old messages on my cell phone voicemail today... I have a message from Jacob when he was probably about 1 1/2 making babyish noises and saying "Hi" over and over again and I also have a message from when Julianna was about 5 months old the first time she ever really laughed. I remember calling my cell phone so that I could record it. Annie was making faces at her or something and she was laughing. It's the sweetest sound. I love listening to those old messages... I'll have to find some way to save them if I ever change my cell phone service. I don't really expect to do that, though; I've been with Verizon forever.

I am feeling more positive tonight. I can't tell you how nice it feels to be almost caught up on our bills. We're so close I can taste it!! I just pray there isn't another long delay when Jay applies for his unemployment extension in the next couple weeks.

Our poor car (the Camry) has been sorely neglected while we've been hard-up for cash and now we have to replace the brake pads, the rotors, and one piston because we drove it way beyond the time we needed to change the brakes. Thankfully, we have the money to do it because of Jay's connections. A buddy of his is doing the work in exchange for a detail on his wife's car and he's getting the parts with his employee discount at Folsom Lake Toyota and we're just paying him back. The car also needs an oil change and a new windshield, which we will work on soon. The oil change is more urgent and easier to do ourselves, so hopefully it won't be much longer.

I should be in bed. I will write again someday. :)

Dani

How time flies

I have found that updating this blog takes up precious time of which I have very little, so I apologize for going so long between posts.

Every day, I tell myself to keep my chin up and look on the bright side and that one day this will all be behind us. I know that sometimes the economy sucks and then eventually it doesn't anymore. I know this, but it's so hard in the moment... Jay is still looking for work. We thought we may have caught a break when a Service Writer up in Auburn gave his notice, but now we're hearing that they may not bother replacing him. Jay should have gotten an unemployment check today, but apparently we forgot to have Jay sign his continued claim form last week, so they sent him another form to sign before they can mail a check. Now, if things go smoothly, he won't receive his check until Tuesday, most likely. We are overdrawn in our bank account and have a lot of people asking us to make payments for one thing or the other, and I have made payment promises that I now cannot honor. Thankfully, I was able to make arrangements so our car won't be repossessed, as was a possibility.

I found a program through the city which will allow the kids to take swimming lessons this summer free-of-charge, so that was a blessing. I really didn't want to skip a summer, because I believe that swimming lessons can literally save lives and I always sign my kids up. This year, because we qualified for the free lessons, I am even going to do a "Mommy and Me" lesson with Julianna, which will supposedly teach her to pull herself out of the pool on the side. That could definitely be beneficial in a worst-case-scenario! So, I feel good about that.

I just go through such a roller coaster of emotions all the time. Jay is about to run out of his unemployment benefits, so we are coming up on his first federal extension. That is all well and good, but I've been told that you usually go three to four weeks without a check while they evaluate your application for an extension. Also, although I know the government is acutely aware at how badly people need the unemployment system right now, I always have it in the back of my mind that California is ultra-broke. Are they someday going to just say, "Sorry, we're out of money" and stop sending checks all together? Who knows? I don't trust any of the politicians anymore. Everything is a mess.

I find myself in a rotten mood because I'm so worried about everything, and that's not fair to my family. I am not enjoying it, either. I am experiencing a lot of headaches and hip pain at this stage of my pregnancy, also, which makes life that much more painful, physically.

I just really want to get to the other side of this mountain. I want to look back and say, "Oh, Jay, remember how impossible it was in 2009?? How did we ever get through that? I'm so glad things are better now!"

I'm scared and worried and confused and angry and disappointed. And what makes it worse is that it's all because of MONEY. STUPID MONEY! I hate that money can affect our lives so much. My children are healthy, my husband and I and all the people I love are healthy. I have a full-time job, which millions of people would love to have. I have a home. Our rent payments are late, but I have a home regardless. I am pregnant with another precious child, which is such a blessing!! I constantly remind myself of the good in my life, and yet I still end up feeling sorry for myself. I guess that's awful. Now I feel guilty for feeling upset. Sigh.

I hope all of you are doing well. I'm sorry this post has been such a pity party, but it's how I'm feeling right now. Hopefully, next time I will be in a better frame of mind.

Update

So...

I haven't updated my blog in quite some time, but honestly I have had no idea what to say. The reason for that is not that I do not have things to say, but more so that I have so much to say that I cannot quite figure out where to start.

Let's start at the end. Seems logical, don't ya think?

On April 2, 2009 a very long, winding, FUN adventure came to an end. The two-hour ER Series Finale aired while my mind reeled around what this would mean. I already posted a long account of my fears and sorrows where the ending of ER is concerned, so I won't do it again. What I will do is make a few brief comments about the actual final episode. Granted, it will mean nothing to anyone who doesn't know the show or didn't see the episode, but deal. I was THRILLED to see Rachel Greene appear as a hopeful soon-to-be med student. It made perfect sense to me to see her there, and of course it made it perfectly plausible that Elizabeth would be in town. Kerry and Susan were logical choices to be in attendance at Carter's grand opening, and OF COURSE it couldn't happen without Benton. Seeing Reese was a pleasure! The chemistry between Benton and Elizabeth was entertaining, although misplaced, I thought. Generally, it was a well-executed episode that very nicely summed up the fifteen year-long drama that is ER and successfully made me cry. I thank John Wells, Michael Crichton (may he rest in peace), and Warner Bros. for a job well done and an amazing fifteen years.

Okay, so moving backwards, we come to April 1. I started my job at Chase Bank (which most people in this area are still referring to as Washington Mutual). I was hired on as a Senior Teller with discussion of moving to a New Accounts desk, possibly as soon as June or July. Right now I'm only part time, but if I get the promotion I will become full time. I truly hope this happens as soon as possible, because part-time really isn't enough to pay the bills, but I am very thankful to have a job at all, so I'm not complaining. Honestly, if it becomes clear that I won't be full-time in the near future, I'll probably start looking for a second job.

We now find ourselves at March 31. It was my nephew's 17th birthday (shout out to Todd!) and we were preparing our family of five to get in the car and head for the festivities in Folsom. I, however, had been struggling with some suspicions that I could not shake, and although it was not the most opportune time, I gave in to my need to know the truth RIGHT before we were supposed to walk out the door. So, without any further ado, I will share my truth with you, my reading public. ;)

Jay and I are thrilled to announce that we are expecting our fourth child! Based on my calculations, I am due late November 2009. My first OB appointment is on May 5. I had to choose a new OB, because Dr. Lane (who delivered both Jacob and Julianna) retired from obstetrics last year. This is very hard for me, but I'm sure my new OB will be fabulous. Using a Roseville-based OB will allow me to deliver at Sutter Roseville's new Family Birthing Center, too, and that's exciting! I thoroughly believe that this is another boy I carry, but that remains to be seen. I don't really want to find out ahead of time, but Jay sort of does, so we haven't decided for sure.

God is good! He has a plan for our family which I will faithfully follow. He continues to bless us daily and has shown His love yet again!!

So, it was a busy week. Oh, and we were late to Todd's birthday gathering. :)

I will post more another day, but I must run to the grocery store. Ta ta.

And... We're Clear!

Girl Scouts Troop 1124 has sold it's last box of cookies. Sales officially ended on Sunday, and our troop raised $1210.55 for our girls (that is our profit, mind you, not the total amount sold). This has been AWESOME!
The girls hoped to earn enough money to go to Great America as a troop, so I'm sure we have that to look forward to. This money will cover materials for projects as the girls earn more badges and other expenses throughout the year. This is the only major fundraiser for the troops, so this is their "spending money" until next cookie season.

We have a number of upcoming events. The girls have a Father-Daughter dance this Friday. There are plans to participate in the Powder Puff Derby, which I'm excited about! They will learn CPR and First Aid. They are going to spend an afternoon in a mechanic's shop and learn how to change oil, check all fluid levels, change a tire, check air pressure, and whatever else comes up. They will spend time cooking and caring for pets and children. They will be making Easter baskets for The Sacramento Children's Hospital, as well. Of course, these are only the events I know about so far!

So, thank you for your support during the cookie drive and check in often to see what Annie is up to with her troop! This has been a very rewarding experience for all of us!

**Giggle**

That was so fun.

So, if you missed it (and I'm sure you did because no one I know watches ER with me anymore), it was awesome.

Only three episodes left, people!

Tonight we were treated to Carol Hathaway, Peter Benton, John Carter, and - wait for it... wait for it... - Doug Ross. Oh, yeah.

I was very impressed with George Clooney, because I wondered how well he could pull off Doug after all these years. He did it beautifully, as did the gorgeous Julianna Margulies pull off Carol. Benton ain't so hard, but admittedly Eriq La Salle played him to a T, as well. Then there's Carter... well, Noah Wyle has John Truman Carter III burned into his brain by now, I think!

So, Doug and Carol are married. I distinctly noticed wedding rings on their fingers. :)

Carter and Benton are so awesome together. I LOVE watching them. They have perfect platonic chemistry. And Benton totally saved Carter's life and that stupid surgeon's ass by following protocol, am I right?? ... Oh, wait, no one reading this saw it. Trust me, he did. ... Anyway, that was SO vintage Benton and Carter.

My husband noticed that the scene between Doug, Sam, and Neela appears to have been shot in two parts and edited together. I don't think the three of them were ever in the same room together. I guess Mighty George couldn't wrap his schedule around theirs... OR his appearance was still hush-hush and the actresses had to just deliver their lines with no questions asked. It's been done before.

Looks like we get one more night with Abby next week. That thrills me beyond words.

Oh, and I LOVE how Carol says to Doug at the end of the episode that the kidney went to "some doctor." If they only knew.

All in all, I am very satisfied. I think The Powers That Be have done a spectacular job with this final season. They have truly given it the respect and honor it deserves, as far as television shows go. I am proud to have been around for all of it.

Three more to go.

The Danger of Precedent

While on one hand, I completely understand the concept of precedent, when do we just admit that a mistake may have been made?

Some of the conversation in the Prop 8 hearing this morning has surrounded an earlier decision to allow the death penalty in the State of California. Life, most certainly, is a fundamental and inalienable right. I will not get into the death penalty discussion here, but I would make the point that the fact that the court made a questionable decision in the past does not mean they are required to follow suit in the future... or should I say, it should not. Mistakes have been made in the past. Racist legislation has been passed and subsequently overturned, as have other issues.

That said, however, the death penalty directly (not concerning indirect effects at this time) affects CRIMINALS. There is a difference in the way we treat our law-abiding citizens and our criminals. Rights are taken away when you are a felon. That is a fact. Therefore, regardless of your stance on the death penalty and whether or not it should be allowed, it does not have anything to do with the Equal Rights and Equal Protection conversation where law-abiding citizens are concerned.

On a lighter note, I am getting tired of the symantic arguments over the meaning of "inalienable," "fundamental," "revision," and "amendment." I understand that this is the basis of today's argument, but OH MY GOSH it's getting tiresome! Maybe someone will jump up on a desk or something and inject some excitment to the hearing. :)

As Long as it's a Narrow Exception!

Justice Kennard is claiming that Prop 8 is a "narrow exception to equal protection."

Well, OKAY! As long as it's only a narrow exception!

Grr...

You May As Well Know

I am absolutely appalled by the passage of Proposition 8, and I have not made a secret of that. That said, today the California Supreme Court will hear arguments appealing Prop 8 and I am letting everyone know right now that I will surely have some things to say about everything before, during, and after the decision has been made. If you don't want to hear about it, you probably ought to avoid my blog for a few days. If you are interested to know what I and others have to say, please stay tuned. :)

For starters, allow me to re-print this article from Equality California's website at www.eqca.org.

March 2, 2009

State Legislature Goes On Record to Oppose Prop. 8

Both Houses Pass Equality California Sponsored Resolutions Supporting Legal Challenge

Sacramento – Both the California Senate and Assembly passed resolutions today opposing Proposition 8 as an illegal and unprecedented revision to the state Constitution. According to the resolutions, Prop. 8 illegally usurps the legislature’s role to vote on all fundamental revisions to the Constitution. By taking away the fundamental freedom to marry from one particular group, Prop. 8 alters the very intent of the Constitution, which is to treat all people equally under the law.

The resolutions, Senate Resolution 7 and House Resolution 5, are sponsored by Equality California (EQCA) and were introduced by Senator Mark Leno and Assemblymember Tom Ammiano, respectively, both of San Francisco. In addition, a full 17 Senators and 40 Assemblymembers signed on as resolution co-authors. The Senate resolution passed by a final vote of 18-14, whereas the Assembly version passed 44-27.

“This is the first time in our state’s history that the initiative process has been used to take away a fundamental freedom from one particular group,” said EQCA Executive Director Geoff Kors. “Our legislators understand this is an unequivocal change to our State’s Constitution, which is to protect and empower all people equally.”

"Both houses of the Legislature recognize that Proposition 8 undermines the fundamental principle of equal protection guaranteed by the California Constitution," said Senator Leno. "Proposition 8's revision to the California Constitution violated key structural checks and balances in the state's legal system when it was approved by a slim majority of voters last November. If Proposition 8 stands, we would be setting a dangerous precedent in California that allows a majority of the people to deny equal protection under the law to a minority of Californians."

“Our state guarantees a system of checks and balances to prevent discrimination like Prop. 8,” said Ammiano. “Prop. 8 flouts that system as it alters the very nature of our Constitution and bypasses the constitutionally-assigned duty of the Legislature to begin the process of making fundamental revisions. If Prop. 8 is allowed to stand, the rights of every minority group will be at risk and our Courts and our Legislature will be powerless to stop it.”

The Supreme Court of California is scheduled to hear arguments challenging Prop. 8 on March 5th.

“We are thankful that our elected representatives have sided with the people in standing up against this dangerous and unprecedented revision,” Kors continued. “We are hopeful that the Supreme Court will do the same.”

Two weeks ago, nearly 1,000 volunteers traveled to Sacramento as part of EQCA’s Lobby Day, where they met directly with legislators and urged them to support the resolutions. Last week, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) weighed in on the threat all minorities face if Prop. 8 is not overturned. In a letter to the state’s legislators, NAACP National Board Chair Julian Bond and President and CEO Benjamin Todd Jealous urged the swift passage of both resolutions.

What's at Stake

Tomorrow the California Supreme Court will hear arguments against the passage of Proposition 8, which banned marriage for homosexual couples. I wanted to share this video, because I think it makes important points about the basic rights of Californians and all people everywhere. There is no reason to strip one minority of a basic right. Next stop, 18-year-olds? Interracial marriage? Where does it end?



In addition, I wanted to let everyone know that there is a candlelight vigil taking place tonight at the Galleria.

Wednesday, March 4 is the day before the California Supreme Court hears oral arguments on the validity of Prop 8. That evening, we’ll stand together and send a unified message to our fellow Californians, including the Supreme Court Justices, that individual liberties like the right to marry are guaranteed by the Constitution to everyone and cannot be stripped away at the ballot box by a bare majority. Just as important, we will give our love and support to all the families headed by same-sex couples who are threatened by the recent electoral outcome, as well as same-sex couples whose hopes and dreams of marriage and family have been frustrated by enactment of Prop 8.

Eve of Justice: Lighting The Way For The Supreme Court

Gather at the Roseville Galleria Mall, 1151 Galleria Blvd. from 6-7:30pm for a peaceful candlelight vigil Meet outside the mall entrance between the Cheesecake Factory (next to JC Penney) and Nordstroms.

Gratitude and Humility

As many of you know, Jay was laid off at the end of January. It had been rough even before that, because he was in commission-based employment in the automotive industry. Obviously, however, his dismissal on January 30 was the final affront on our finances (not to mention our sanity). Since then, we have applied for and/or enrolled in a few government-type assistance programs to put food on the table, but it's a daily struggle when there is NO money coming into the house. Yes, he has filed for unemployment, but the government is taking its sweet time processing everything and we have yet to receive a penny.

We have received help in various forms from many people during this time, and this is just my public acknowledgment of those people - and they know who they are! When friends and family step up to the plate the way ours have to ask what they can do and actually be willing to do it, we just have no words that properly convey our thankfulness. Some people have been constant advocates for us in the job market, using their contacts and inquiring about potential employment opportunities on our behalf. Some people have assisted us financially, while others have provided food. Some have provided diapers and other baby needs, while still others have provided prayers and advice. And bear in mind, NO ONE is financially sound right now. Every person who helps us does so out of his or her heart and leaves the logistics to God.

I KNOW that we will see the other side of this experience and will one day work and provide for our family again. I have absolute faith that God wants us to have this experience because we need to have this experience and that it is truly for our betterment that it has come about. I confess I have certainly lost my focus a time or two and felt out of control and scared. We keep plugging on, however, and eventually things will turn around.

This has given us the opportunity to re-evaluate some things. Jay will be going back to school to attain his Associates Degree in Art and Design, while (God willing) working part-time. I will go back to work full-time as soon as I receive a job offer. I am pursuing every avenue, submitting more applications and attending more interviews every week. So far, we are still jobless, but we will continue to search and apply.

This experience has definitely humbled us and illustrated exactly who our friends are. Anyone know Tim McGraw?

"You find out who your friends are. Somebody's gonna drop everything, run out and jump in their car, hit the gas, get there fast, never stop to think 'What's in it for me?' or 'It's way too far!' They just show on up, with their big ol' heart. You find out who your friends are."

So true.

So, all I'm trying to say is THANK YOU. Thank you a million times.

There are no words. Well, there are some...

I realize that on the surface this will seem ridiculous. It's easy to laugh at people for loving something purely fictional. Hell, we laugh at people for loving celebrities, and they're real people. So, I'm just saying I understand that this might make you think I'm nuts, or at least a little pathetic.

I'm seriously sad that ER is ending. I have been watching ER on Thursday nights since I was 14 years old. This, the fifteenth season, is to be its last. I have fallen in love with characters, been disappointed by characters, cried over events, yelled at my television, screamed at my television, terrified my brother by FREAKING OUT over a particular terrible event in the sixth season, lured my mother, my roommate, and my husband into watching, and demanded pure silence from everyone nearby during episodes. I was there when Mark and Jen broke up. I was there when Carol finally admitted she loved Doug. I was there when Paul Sobriki killed Lucy and permanently damaged Carter (in every possible way). I was there when Doug walked out, and when Carol followed him. I was there when Mark died, and when Romano had a helicopter crash on his head. Carter cleaned up, Abby faltered. Deb Chen left, returned, and left again. Come to think of it, so did Susan. Don't get me started on Chloe! Ray lost his legs, Morris actually turned into a decent guy AND a decent doc. Uncle Jesse became Dr. Gates. Sam killed her ex-husband and got off scot-free. Benton really DID love Carter like a son, you just had to know him.

And that's the key. I KNOW these characters. I know them because I have paid the utmost attention to every tiny little detail for the last fifteen years! I have sat in dark rooms and silenced everyone who dared approach me and focused 100% on the episode at hand. I wasn't even allowed to stay up late enough to watch ER when it first started, but I did anyway. I would turn off my lights and turn my tv on and keep the volume at such a ridiculously low volume that I had to be inches from the screen to hear, but my parents never caught me and I never missed an episode. I used to talk to Peter Kupfer every Thursday night during the first (and second?) season during commercial breaks and hang up on him the moment the episode re-started... but it was all good because he understood. Later, I would call Kris Nagao following each episode to recap what we had just seen and make predictions for the following week's show.

I have seen George Clooney in person when he appeared on Jay Leno, and he is absolutely gorgeous. I wanted to drive by Noah Wyle's farm outside of L.A., but my silly roommate decided it was "too stalkerish" and refused to go with me, so I was shamed into staying home. I have watched all three Librarian movies because Dear Noah tugs at my heartstrings, and I must confess he was the only reason I saw Donnie Darko, originally. I am literally afraid of David Krumholtz because of his role on ER.

I've watched Mark take over Susan's apartment and Neela take over Abby's. I understood the significance of the casual drink Carter took in season 8. I was there when Mark got attacked in the bathroom, and I spent the summer of 2000 constantly worried about whether Carter had stuck it out in rehab in Atlanta. I spent weeks confused and upset for Abby when she lost her way in 2007, and was thrilled when she and Luka finally got it together in 2008.

Okay, I could go on forever (I already have). The point is that no matter how pathetic I am, this is something that has been a significant obsession for the majority of my life! Now, the inevitable eventuality has arrived and there are only five more episodes of ER remaining. Oh, and Carter's dying without a kidney transplant.

I am very much saddened to say goodbye to all these people I have grown so fond of. What, oh what, am I going to do on Thursday nights? Are the doctors and nurses of County General going to check in with me once in a while to let me know how they're doing? Is Neela ever going to truly grow up? Did Deb ever contact her son? Has Elizabeth kept up a relationship with Rachel? How the hell is Malucci doing?

I noticed that tonight's episode had Carter washing blood out of his shirt standing over the same sink where Abby originally caught him shooting up after a trauma. He had the same look on his face for a moment when Banfield walked in, as though he might hide the truth, but this time decided to be open about what was going on. I thought that was an interesting choice... and not everyone would have noticed that.

Okay, so I've made my point. I'm ridiculous, and I'm sad. I don't wanna say goodbye to ER! I just might throw a temper tantrum... I just might.

Hollywood Meanie-Heads

That was mean. There is either something truly wrong with Joaquin Phoenix (and he needs help) or he is completely sincere and you're just picking on him like a bully on a playground. Either way, this was pushing the line a little, if you ask me.

I guess nothing Hollywood types do should surprise me, but this did.

Stupid Government CRAP

Sorry to speak to the obvious, but if you can possibly avoid ever having to file for Unemployment Benefits, do so. I am so tired of the bureaucracy of our government. Rather than expediting the process for people who are out of a job and have no source of income (not to mention little kids to care for), they intentionally send you through as many blankety-blank steps as possible, causing it to take as long as possible, while you flounder around with no money.

I may throw something. I'll keep you posted.

Anyone catch the Late Show?

Okay, I am not just trying to bash this man. I think he is a brilliant actor and (when shaven) a very good looking individual... but what the hell is wrong with Joaquin Phoenix??

I saw him on David Letterman tonight and all I can think is that he was higher than a kite and barely realized where he was. I surely hope that he is okay, but for the time being he really ought to stay out of the limelight. There is DEFINITELY something wrong with him.

John Belushi, anyone?

Happy Thoughts...

My silly husband
Food Network
Reminiscing about high school
Google Earth
My amazing children
The health of everyone dear to me
Garth
The roof over our heads
Key Lime Pie
My supportive siblings
Warm socks
My understanding friends
My church community
Sleeping in
Groceries in the kitchen
The return of so many of my favorite characters in the final season of ER
My awesome niece and nephew
Cinnamon Toast Crunch
My loving parents

Okay, so I did NOT get the job with Wells Fargo in Auburn OR the job with Washington Mutual in Auburn. WaMu called me and wants me to interview for a position in Fair Oaks, however, so at least they're still interested. Wells Fargo has another position open in Sacramento for which I applied, and now Wachovia is hiring at their branch in Auburn, so I applied for that as well. I have sent my resume to Bank of the West and Umpqua and someone else... not to mention all the random jobs I've applied for on hotjobs.com.

Jay is still waiting to hear from Roseville Toyota, but we aren't particularly optomistic. He has applied with Lithia Toyota in Vacaville (!) and has interviews next week with Aflac and some healthcare insurance company. He has a bunch of random applications out there, too.

This is nuts. Thank God for family. We are receiving such support from both sides of our clan that I am at a loss for words to thank them. I can definitely tell you we have food in the house, which is amazing.

I'll let you know when something happens!!

I'm starting to freak out a little

I am finding myself to be very anxious lately. Jay and I are both actively looking for work, and I have a few bites, but Jay isn't seeing much action. There aren't many jobs in his field available, and he has not had any luck getting into the field he would like to pursue. The next step is just finding some job, any job, at whatever pay rate he can find.

I am having anxiety attacks again. I haven't had them in a while, but they seem to be back full-force. Thankfully, I still have some of the medication my doctor prescribed last time. I hope this doesn't last long. Stress is a killer, y'know.

Continuing to wish, hope, plan, and pray...

Wow. Really?

Jay got laid off today.

"So everybody get ready to raise your middle finger to 2008 and welcome 2009!" - Radio DJ on New Year's Eve

Okay, I am totally stealing this from Conway (sorry, hun, but I can't change your name after all these years... it's just weird), and it's a little late to be reviewing 2008, I suppose, but I like it and I'm doing it, so there.

The Year in Review...

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Quit my job with no intention of finding a new one

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I don't think so. I probably resolved to stop biting my nails, as I do every year, so I definitely did not keep that resolution. Here we go again for 2009!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Hmm... oh yeah! I did!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Sadly, yes.

5. What countries did you visit?
The United States of America - it's beautiful!!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
MONEY

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 13, 2008 - the birth of my daughter, Julianna Marie Joost.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Okay, giving birth has to be mentioned. Besides that, I'd say really truly becoming comfortable with my husband's ex-wife.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I still bite my nails

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Does pregnancy sickness count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Everything I bought at Disneyland collectively

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
No one in particular improved their behavior so much that it warranted celebration. I don't know that anyone I know really needs to improve their behavior, except maybe my three-year-old!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
At times, Jacob did bring me down, but he was dealing with becoming a big brother. He's doing MUCH better now.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, moving, and rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My new baby, Jay's new job, being able to quit my job

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? unfair. I was eight months pregnant at this time last year.
iii. richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
traveling

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
stressing over money

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
We spent it with our families

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I have to ditto Conway; I stayed in love in 2008.

23. How many one-night stands?
Oh, come now.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Same show for the last fifteen years! ER!
I did discover House and Big Love this year, though, and they are excellent.
Jay and I also watched Six Feet Under on DVD and couldn't get enough.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
no.

26. What was the best book you read?
Two From Gallilee

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Jason Mraz

28. What did you want and get?
another baby

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really don't watch many movies. I honestly cannot think of a favorite.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28 and I believe Jay and I went out for dinner and a movie... I don't remember what we saw, though.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More money. I don't mean that in a offhanded, silly, or crass way... it was a seriously difficult year financially.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Stay-At-Home-Mom

34. What kept you sane?
The smiles and laughter of my children. And my mom.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No one in particular.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The atrocity which is Prop 8.

37. Who did you miss?
Byron, Adam, and Leslie, just like every other year. :(

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Julianna Marie :) :) :)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
God will provide, somehow.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
Another battle lost but not the war

'Cause tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated and I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing but I'm not dead

'Cause tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain"

Jo Dee Messina
Bring On The Rain

To Execute Faithfully... To Faithfully Execute... Oh, Damn It!

I enjoyed the inauguration today quite a bit. I felt sad watching Fmr. President George W. Bush leaving office, but not because I love him so much or anything. I am a supporter of his, but the reason I felt bad is because I know he feels bad. He has been the President during a very tumultuous time and because things aren't hunky-dorey at the end of his time in office, he is bid farewell with a smirk and the occasional rude gesture by the American citizens for whom he has worked so hard. I feel that he has gotten a bad rap and he knows it. But I digress. The inauguration was stirring and exciting, if short on real substance. The poem by Elizabeth Alexander was painful, although I think it might have actually been okay if I had read it on paper; she was just too choppy in her delivery, in my opinion. It was, all in all, an enjoyable event to watch. The Obamas are definitely a breath of fresh air in all their relatively youthful giddiness, and I'm happy to see two smiling little faces in the White House. We haven't had youngsters in that building for quite some time... has it really been since Kennedy?

So, here you go, America. You wanted him, you got him. Let's see what he can do.

To Boldly Go...

Okay, well, just an update on our job-seeking. I received interest from Wells Fargo but have not yet gotten an interview. I'm planning on calling to "check in" tomorrow. Jay was contacted by Geico last week and has taken a written test and had an interview, both of which went well. Thursday he has to go to Rancho Cordova for an assessment test which is a roleplay activity where he is supposed to talk to a "customer" who is making a "claim." I'm sure he'll do great! He has a good personality for these things.

Keep praying for us, please... this could be something huge for us if it works out!!

Lovin' That Hot Dog

I just hope that Barack Obama's entire Presidency isn't going to be about the fact that he's black. I recognize the significance of race and why this is VERY exciting and liberating for black Americans, but he's not just a black guy who won. He's going to be the President of the United States. I hope it doesn't take us too much longer to get over the fact that he's black. The more we focus on race, the longer race will be an issue for people. When we no longer discuss it or concern ourselves with it, real change can take place in people's hearts.

And by the way, there really ought to be a rule against taking pictures of people mid-bite. It just isn't nice.

If I arranged a reunion...

The following are people I would LOVE to see again, especially all at the same time. They don't all know each other, but this is my reunion, so that really has nothing to do with it.

Adam Nagao
Leslie Allen
Alex Lucas
Peter Weeks
Peter Kupfer
Gina Kupfer
Betsy Sagala
Tim Frank
Brian Schroeder
Ryan Reed
Katy Clay
Melissa Smith
Beth Reigel
Candace Smith
Byron DeMent (he counts because I barely ever see him now that he's a big time New Yorker)
Ginny Cashmore (I know she got married but I don't know her last name, sorry)
Linnea Boswell (see above)
Jenny Glinka
Rikki Engman (again with the married note)
Linda deGraaff
Elizabeth McDonald (yes, Dr. McDonald)

I hope I didn't callously forget someone who is important to me. I am not a person who makes many friends, and these people are gone from my life to one degree or the other and I wish I could just bring them all back for a little while. I'm feeling nostalgic tonight.

Love you all.

The job search is ON

I've applied at Washington Mutual, Wells Fargo (yuck!), and Golden 1. Jay has applied at Geico, Traveler's Insurance, and The Picture People. He has an outstanding application with AutoNation, but doesn't expect much to come of it.

I have spent day after day staring at Monster.com, HotJobs.com, and various other sites. I am SO tired of job hunting!!!

Wish us luck. :)