Cord Blood Changes Lives

I think this is the future of medicine, really. We banked Julianna's cord blood, and although I pray we never need it, I am glad we did.

feeling icky

Why do some people have so much control over our emotional state? It's ridiculous. Their opinion means so much to us and when it differs from our own it causes us such distress. Such vulnerability is simply a pain in the ... rear.

Why is it that forgiving is so much easier than forgetting? It seems that even when you are able to truly forgive someone for something, you still struggle to forget it.. and if we're unable to forget, have we ever truly forgiven?

I'm pretty sure Carrie Bradshaw wrote something almost exactly the same once upon a time.

I'm feeling down today. I hope things get better as the hours tick by.

((Oh, and I feel like I should just say that this has nothing to do with Amanda. Amanda and I are fine. I know that is probably what jumped to some people's minds.))

Sigh. I hate feeling crummy. I need to clean before my mom comes over later. And I need to feed my son. And myself. And do laundry. And fold. And clean Annie's room - it's trashed. Maybe being productive around the house will make me feel better.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

Update

Amanda is getting better, but it's a slow process. She says she feels as if she's been punched hard in her back and side. She has a very difficult time supporting herself on her own two legs, and chest pain whenever she moves around. She was told that the muscles around her heart got very tight, and if the paramedics hadn't administered the shot they gave her when they did, it would have been a heart attack. As it is, it was not a heart attack. I think of it as a heart attack that they were able to stop, personally, but whatever. She says she can still feel tightness in her chest, but the muscles seem to relax more each hour, and within a number of days they should be back to normal. The near-heart-attack did not affect her aneurysm, which is very good news. The doctors are blaming stress, which actually does make sense, considering everything going on in Amanda's life right now.

Annie is less freaked out today, but still nervous.

So, improvement seems to be upon us, thankfully. She has to stay calm and relaxed, so we're helping out where we can to make that possible. I'll pick Annie up from school Monday and any other days they would like.

Thank you to those of you who have called and emailed me concerned for Amanda. It means a lot. Oh, how far we have come.

I have reached the other side of the mountain.

On one side is anger and hatred. Somewhere up the hillside, you reach resentment and frustration. On the top, you find yourself on a plateau of indifference and tolerance. Headed down the other side, you discover fondness and understanding. Eventually, you find yourself in the grassy cushion on the bottom of the other side, basking in love and joy.

Somewhere in the last six months, I started sliding off the edge of the plateau. I am officially on the other side.

I got a phone call this morning. Amanda had another "heart thing." She has had three heart attacks and multiple other heart-related episodes. She has an aneurysm in one of her heart valves and another one shut down about two years ago, which means she is operating on two valves. At five o'clock this morning, Annie woke up and heard Ben talking loudly on the phone. She came out to the living room and found Amanda lying on the floor, unconscious. Ben was on the phone with 911. She was taken to the hospital and released around ten o'clock this morning. She has been resting, but cannot speak loudly, cannot walk, and cannot move at all without terrible chest pain. I'm no doctor, but I really don't get why they released her when she's still so messed up. Whatever, she's at home sleeping now. I picked Annie up for about four hours today to get her out of the house, let her talk about it if she wanted, and get her mind off of it if possible. She carried her cell phone with her like it was a newborn baby, never letting it out of her reach, and she texted Ben four times while we were out to make sure things were okay (which they were). She did talk about it quite a bit, and got rather shaken up when she heard an ambulance going through the streets of Auburn (that was one of the text messages to Ben), but we also enjoyed a nice lunch at Marie Callender's and ice cream at Baskin Robbins. We picked up a nice flower arrangement for Amanda while we were out.

It's becoming clear that this isn't going away. We had all started to feel more comfortable, because she hasn't had any issues in over a year, but here we are again.

Oh, yeah, my point. When I got the phone call this morning, one request that was made of me was that I call Annie in to school. When I was explaining to the school why Annie wouldn't be there today, my voice caught in my throat. I was upset. Genuinely upset.

I care about Amanda. Truly, honestly. I don't mean to sound so crude about it, but this is a pretty huge change from three years ago.

So, we are praying for Amanda and Annie, and I would appreciate any added prayers you can provide. Annie is pretty freaked out.


Amanda, Annie, and Ben - Christmas 2007

OMG She's Five Months Old

When did this happen??

Then
...and now

Feet

Julianna found her feet last week, and for those of you who don't get to see her as often as we all wish you could; here she is. This is pretty much what she does whenever she finds herself lying on her back these days.

Disgruntled and Disgusted

Associated Press

BEIJING - A Chinese man stabbed the in-laws of the U.S. Olympic men's volleyball coach, killing one and injuring the other while they visited a Beijing tourist site near the main venue where Olympic competitions began Saturday, officials said.

The victims were Todd and Barbara Bachman, parents of former Olympian Elisabeth Bachman, who is married to men's volleyball coach Hugh McCutcheon. Bachman's father was killed.

The assailant also stabbed and injured a Chinese female tour guide with the Americans. He then committed suicide by throwing himself off a 130-foot-high balcony of the ancient landmark the Americans were visiting, the 13th century Drum Tower, the official Xinhua News Agency reported.

"They are deeply saddened and shocked," Darryl Seibel, a spokesman for the U.S. Olympic Committee, said of the volleyball team.

He said the two victims "were not wearing apparel or anything that would have specifically identified them as being members of our delegation" or as Americans.

The U.S. Embassy said it believed the attack was an isolated act and not directed at Americans or foreigners, given that the Chinese tour guide was also hurt.

"We don't believe this was targeted at American citizens, and we don't believe this has anything to do with the Olympics," embassy spokeswoman Susan Stevenson said.

Ramped-up security
The killing was a rare instance of violent crime against foreigners in tightly controlled China, which has ramped up security measures even more for the Olympics.

The attack shortly after noon at the busy tourist site darkened the mood at the games the day after a spectacular opening ceremony had set an ebullient tone after years of nervous buildup.

Beijing's communist leaders are hypersensitive to anything that could take the shine off the games, insisting issues such as China's human rights record, harsh rule in Tibet and ties with Sudan should not be raised at the sports event.

China's Foreign Ministry had no immediate comment on the attack.

Xinhua identified the attacker as Tang Yongming, 47, from the eastern city of Hangzhou. It said Tang attacked the two Americans and their Chinese tour guide on the second level of the ancient tower, then leapt to his death immediately afterward.

Seibel said it was "too early to say" whether security would be stepped up for the U.S. team. But some athletes were already thinking about it.

Jennie Finch, a member of the U.S. softball team, said her heart skipped a beat when she heard about the attack, but she was undaunted.

"I'm here with my husband and son, so it's not easy but we're living our dreams and we're not going to live in fear," she said. "We're going to go out there every day and enjoy every day and celebrate it."

'Thoughts and prayers'
U.S. Ambassador Clark T. Randt visited the victims at a hospital in Beijing to convey the condolences of President Bush, who is in Beijing for the first days of the games.

"Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families," Bush told reporters. "And the United States government has offered to provide any assistance the family needs."

At the scene, police blocked off streets leading to the Drum Tower, which is just five miles from the main Olympics venue in China's capital. They cordoned off the area with yellow police tape while officers collected samples from the tower and the street below.

Some details of the attack, including the motive and weapon used, were not immediately clear.

Attacks on foreigners in China are extremely rare. A Canadian model was murdered last month in Shanghai — police said she had stumbled onto a burglary.

In March, a screaming, bomb-strapped hostage-taker who commandeered a bus with 10 Australians aboard in the popular tourist city of Xi'an was shot to death by a police sniper.

Shanghai and Beijing are still safer than most foreign cities of their size. Punishments for crimes against foreigners are heavier than for crimes against Chinese, and citizens are not allowed to own guns.

Even so, the U.S. government now warns Americans against muggings, beatings and even carjackings, especially in the nightlife and shopping districts of large cities.

Built in the 13th century, the Drum Tower is one of few ancient structures still in fast-developing Beijing. Drummers pounded their massive instruments on the hour to let people in the imperial city know the time.

When are we going to realize that when we send a large group of our citizens to a foreign country for a highly-publicized event, we need to protect them and their families? We are in no position to just blindly trust the security of the land we are visiting. If we extend the same protective measures to our citizens in these types of circumstances regardless of the country we are visiting, foreign countries will see that we are not picking on them, but are being consistently protective in each nation we visit. The Olympics have historically been a great opportunity for those who wish members of another nation harm and attacks have taken place many times on the members of various Olympic teams over the years. Considering our position in the international community right now, maybe we should invest some of our "Homeland Security" money into protecting our people abroad.

Oh, and I love how they don't think the victims appeared American. Puh-lease! I have a funny feeling that a couple Americans walking around Beijing with cameras around their necks and backpacks on their backs probably stick out when surrounded with Chinese men and women. Even if they had been Chinese-Americans, I guarantee they wouldn't have carried themselves the same way as Chinese citizens. However, with a name like Bachman, I suspect they were quite "white," not to mention possibly blond-haired and blue-eyed.

My thoughts and prayers are with the family of the victims. I can't imagine losing my father in such a violent, terrible way.

Old Fashioned Silliness

Our family had "old-fashioned" pictures taken a couple weeks ago. Before they took the posed photos, they shot one just to make sure they had everything set up correctly. I believe the photographer's exact words were, "Make a face!"

Too bad Julianna is IN her hat, and Jacob is half missing!

I found this fascinating

I always had a confusion about dinosaurs, and this site actually makes sense to me.

http://www.answersingenesis.org/Docs/2.asp

This one helps with the whole idea of deciding how old we think the dinosaur bones are. I didn't realize that no one really tests the bones to determine their age.

http://www.angelfire.com/mi/dinosaurs/carbondating.html

John Cusack, Cadoo, and Babies

So I'm wishing people would update their blogs so I would have something new to read, and I realize that I haven't updated my own! So here we are... I'm watching "Say Anything" for the first time in too many years. Such an excellent movie. Jacob is pretending to play Cranium Cadoo. Jay is doing whatever he does on his computer. It's one of those days. Oh, and the baby is asleep and Annie is at Amanda's, so there ya go.

Did you ever have a problem that you didn't even understand? Like when someone is mad at you and you have no idea why or what to do about it? And why do people carry around all these issues and wait until one breakthrough moment when they just let loose with all of it at once? Couldn't we deal with things a little bit at a time? Less overwhelming that way, I think.

I feel like there is something I should be doing and am avoiding, but I honestly don't know what it is. I need to go buy cat food and juice, and there's a basket of laundry that requires folding, but these things really aren't a big deal... so what is it? I think I'm actually waiting for someone else to do something. Hm. I hate waiting for other people, I'm much too proactive for that.

I want to get pregnant again. Is that insane? I LOVE my little girl and am enjoying every moment of her infancy, and of course Jacob is my treasured angel, but I think I want to do this again, sooner rather than later. I know that part of it is that I grew up only 17 months apart from my little brother, and we were so close and took so much comfort in each other's company, I guess I want to give that gift to my children, too. And I'm not working anyway, so it's not like there's a huge financial impact immediately. We would need another bedroom, I guess that's really the biggest issue. Which is, of course, a very big issue! I don't know, I'm just thinking in print. I asked Jay and he's up for another one. We are a little nuts, I think, but it's cool.

...

I hate waiting on other people