I have reached the other side of the mountain.

On one side is anger and hatred. Somewhere up the hillside, you reach resentment and frustration. On the top, you find yourself on a plateau of indifference and tolerance. Headed down the other side, you discover fondness and understanding. Eventually, you find yourself in the grassy cushion on the bottom of the other side, basking in love and joy.

Somewhere in the last six months, I started sliding off the edge of the plateau. I am officially on the other side.

I got a phone call this morning. Amanda had another "heart thing." She has had three heart attacks and multiple other heart-related episodes. She has an aneurysm in one of her heart valves and another one shut down about two years ago, which means she is operating on two valves. At five o'clock this morning, Annie woke up and heard Ben talking loudly on the phone. She came out to the living room and found Amanda lying on the floor, unconscious. Ben was on the phone with 911. She was taken to the hospital and released around ten o'clock this morning. She has been resting, but cannot speak loudly, cannot walk, and cannot move at all without terrible chest pain. I'm no doctor, but I really don't get why they released her when she's still so messed up. Whatever, she's at home sleeping now. I picked Annie up for about four hours today to get her out of the house, let her talk about it if she wanted, and get her mind off of it if possible. She carried her cell phone with her like it was a newborn baby, never letting it out of her reach, and she texted Ben four times while we were out to make sure things were okay (which they were). She did talk about it quite a bit, and got rather shaken up when she heard an ambulance going through the streets of Auburn (that was one of the text messages to Ben), but we also enjoyed a nice lunch at Marie Callender's and ice cream at Baskin Robbins. We picked up a nice flower arrangement for Amanda while we were out.

It's becoming clear that this isn't going away. We had all started to feel more comfortable, because she hasn't had any issues in over a year, but here we are again.

Oh, yeah, my point. When I got the phone call this morning, one request that was made of me was that I call Annie in to school. When I was explaining to the school why Annie wouldn't be there today, my voice caught in my throat. I was upset. Genuinely upset.

I care about Amanda. Truly, honestly. I don't mean to sound so crude about it, but this is a pretty huge change from three years ago.

So, we are praying for Amanda and Annie, and I would appreciate any added prayers you can provide. Annie is pretty freaked out.


Amanda, Annie, and Ben - Christmas 2007